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In Performative Portraits project I operate on the level as an allegory for the matrix world where we are controlled by cold, calculating numeric logic, with no empathy/compassion. Also in terms of actual politics (black net around my body) the web represent the shadow of intelligence establishment.They are paid by the devil to defeat us as a humans. It is that important for “them” to bring us to our knees. We are living in a frightening world and our habitual range of emotion secures us and also imprisons us. On some images ‘the key is to convert the fear into the fuel that push outward’. The purpose is not to be squelched by it, but to use it as the fire furnace for transformation itself. Sometimes we are inspired by challenges, sometimes we are felled by them.

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From Baudrillard’s chapter ‘On Nihilism’:

‘These two forms no longer concern us except in part, or not at all. The nihilism of transparency is no longer either aesthetic or political, no longer borrows from either the extermination of appearances, nor from extinguishing the embers of meaning, nor from the last nuances of an apocalypse. There is no longer an apocalypse (only aleatory terrorism still tries to reflect it, but it is certainly no longer political, and it only has one mode of manifestation left that is at the same time a mode of disappearance: the media – now the media are not a stage where something is played, they are a strip, a track, a perforated map of which we are no longer even spectators: receivers). The apocalypse is finished, today it is the precession of the neutral, of forms of the neutral and of indifference. I will leave it to be considered whether there can be a romanticism, an aesthetic of the neutral therein. I don’t think so – all that remains, is the fascination for desert-like and indifferent forms, for the very operation of the system that annihilates us. Now, fascination (in contrast to seduction, which was attached to appearances, and to dialectical reason, which was attached to meaning) is a nihilistic passion par excellence, it is the passion proper to the mode of disappearance. We are fascinated by all forms of disappearance, of our disappearance. Melancholic and fascinated, such is our general situation in an era of involuntary transparency.’

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For this project some interesting images appear on photoshoot and filming which my colleagues Simon Harutyunyan and Stavros Vasileiou helped to be done in the photo studio. On 15th October we filmed the performance and later on we took stills.

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In the heart of that madness, I recognise that I have a choice- fade away or overcome, give up on this life or fight for my right to the light. For whatever reason, I’ll choose to overcome. I will turn matrix world and its virus of control, totalitarian mind, techno paranoia, banality of daily life into the fire I needed to both: survive and craft a life illuminate with purpose. It’s a beautiful overcoming, but it could have easily gone the other way. I think of humans often, those who are trapped in terribly challenging circumstances, and how important it is to notice them, to listen to them, to empower them. I think of how little love it can take to inspire us to believe in life again, when nothing in our immediate environment nourishes us. If we have just a little bit of light to warm ourself, we can go on and overcome our circumstances. May we be the light for those young generation who need it until they can claim it as their own. It doesn’t take much to change everything.

The final version are black and white photographs.

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